CARE
Baby steps to becoming an awesome parent and partner
What I enjoy most about parenting is not only the joy our kids
bring to our lives, but also what they teach us about life and love. I know
that I love better because of them, and I believe loving others is what life is
all about. Children give us a natural and rewarding opportunity to love. They
change us for the better. My favorite moment each day is when I come home from
work and see their smiling faces. Any trouble I faced is immediately forgotten.
I love them and am so thankful for how they've impacted me.
But how should expectant fathers, especially first-time dads,
prepare for fatherhood and be a supportive partner? As a proud dad to two
children and family medicine provider, below are my suggestions on how to make
the journey to fatherhood smooth and become a great dad.
Supporting spouse/partner in pregnancy:
- Listen to your partner/spouse. Pregnancy is a
foreign experience for first-time moms; there are many physical and emotional changes
she'll go through that she's never experienced. The biggest way you can help is
to listen and be her emotional support.
- Try and go to at least a few doctor
appointments together. It's a great time for you to ask questions and learn
more about the pregnancy experience and let her know you're by her side. Research
shows new moms have a better overall pregnancy experience when dads are
actively involved.
- Compliment her. Most women are self-conscious
with their changing physical appearance and need reminders of how beautiful
they are.
- Be prepared: Attend child birth classes, read
books and articles and talk with your parents or friends who've been through it. But
also remember that you'll never know everything and it's good to expect the
unexpected.
Helping around
time of delivery:
- In addition to child birth classes, I think it's
good to plan ahead for the delivery and pack a travel kit with toiletries,
iPad, camera, books to read, etc. And, don't wait till the last minute as labor
can begin sooner than you think.
- After the delivery, have her pick out a
special dinner or a special treat, and, of course, flowers always go over well –
after all, she's earned it!
- Encourage her to not have too many visitors in
the hospital. The delivery can be an overwhelming experience. Having some time
to rest, recover and bond with your new baby will be much appreciated. It's not
selfish. Remember that family and friends will have lots of opportunity to
visit in the upcoming weeks.
Helping
when newborn comes home:
- This is when helping out with chores, cooking
and cleaning is really essential.
Be sure to love and encourage your partner as this can be a difficult
transition.
- It's good to practice forgiveness towards your
partner and yourself regularly as babies don't come with instruction manuals
and you both will inevitably make mistakes. Good parenting, like everything
else in life, takes practice.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. Grandparents
are always looking for a good excuse to see the baby and help out.
- Finally, hang tough. It's hard being a new dad
when it seems the baby doesn't need you and all he or she wants is mom, but the
reality is both your spouse/partner and child depend on you to be their rock and support.
As your child grows, he or she will interact with you more and more and your
influence will grow even larger, and parenting will become more fun.
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