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When is it OK for my child to quit a sport?
There is no right
or wrong answers about giving up a sport or when to quit. As a child, I was
passionate about playing baseball and hockey, but I ended up quitting both
sports as an adolescent. Unfortunately, I ended up later regretting it.
As a parent,
pediatrician and former youth hockey coach, I can tell you that communicating
with your young athlete is key. When I quit, I didn't talk to my parents about
it, but I wish that I had. They might have steered me in a different direction
or helped me through the difficulties I was having.
How to talk about the choice with your child
Here are my pointers for
communicating with your child and making the decision easier.
- Let your child
determine which activities and sports to participate in. Encourage participation
in a variety of sports to find out what your child enjoys. Continue exposure to
new sports and offer new opportunities to play.
- Talk with your
child about the commitment made to teammates and coaches. Try to see the season
through. Early practices may be tough as your athlete adjusts to a new team,
coach or sport. After the season is over, talk about the pros and cons. This
can help narrow down future activity choices, and find the sport that best suits
your child's skills and personality.
- Recognize that not
all children will become professional athletes, but all children should be
happy, learn and enjoy themselves. Talk with your child about the goals and
expectations for participating in a sport. The level of play should be
appropriate for your child's level of interest. For example, if your son is
interested in a sport because his friend plays or for the socialization, then a
recreational league would be a better fit than a competitive one.
- Acknowledge your athlete's
reasons for wanting to quit. Younger children may have a difficult time
articulating why, but as children get
older, they tend to have an easier time understanding what they do or don't
like about a sport. No matter your child's age, you can help work through issues,
resolve conflict and calm fears.
- Discuss with your
athlete the reasons to continue playing the sport. Work on these reasons
together; you can suggest reasons, but also have your child suggest some, too. Reinforce
that the main goal of playing sports is to have fun, it doesn't always have to
be about being good. And it certainly shouldn't be to please you or the coach.
- Consider bringing the
coach into the conversation. The coach may be able to offer suggestions, renewing
your athlete's interest in the sport. Or sometimes, the coach's philosophy may
not match your child's level of interest and a different level of play may be
better.
The right time to
quit a sport may be the end of a season for some athletes; however, there are
situations where sticking it out for the season might not be the healthiest choice,
if your child:
- struggles to meet
the challenges of the activity
- feels anxious about
the sport
- encounters negative
effects in other areas of life
- is over committed to
too many demands
- experiences low
self-esteem or burnout.
I found my way back
to playing hockey in college as part of intramural leagues and, eventually, I
became a youth hockey coach. I'm fortunate to have reconnected with a sport
that makes me happy. Now, I also get to share my love of sports with my
daughter. She isn't interested in playing hockey, and that's OK. I enjoy seeing her try new sports as she
explores what is the right fit for her skills and passions.
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